Dear Carole, Why does my girlfriend enjoy being tied up? Sex always involves rope, handcuffs or restraints of some sort, and often uniforms. She is anything but submissive outside the bedroom, but seems unable to achieve orgasm without being restrained in some way. When we have "vanilla" sex she enjoys it, but when tied she always has multiple orgasms. While I'm not complaining at her tastes, I'm not sure I can see the evolutionary benefit … apart from attracting men who are dominant in bed, which, at the risk of doing myself down, seems a dubious sort of goal at best. If it's all the same with you, in the event that you publish this, I'd rather remain anonymous: she reads the Guardian too. Are you dominant in bed? Once an adult is handcuffed and restrained the other party becomes, by default, the dominant one. You say that outside of the bedroom your girlfriend is "anything but submissive". Is it possible, therefore, that in the bedroom it is actually you who is dominated?

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She takes him up to a hotel room. She produces rope or sometimes handcuffs and suggests he be chained to the bed and kinkiness will ensue. The guy always enthusiastically agrees. At which point she cheerfully robs him blind and leaves, leaving the robbed and naked guy stuck until someone finds him.
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While the request may have thrown you for a loop, the reality is, playing with domination and submission can be a huge turn-on in the bedroom or, you know, wherever you're getting it on. For the partner being tied up, there's often something incredibly hot about handing over complete control. From the achingly sexy to the hella awkward, here are eight women's tales of what it was like to be tied up in bed for the first time.