But how does it feel to be a virgin in your 30s and 40s? I only recently fell in love properly for the first time. He seems to accept me exactly as I am. I feel like we are soulmates. Anonymous woman, I am still a virgin because of my crippling social anxiety, possibly due to my large facial growths. Occasionally though, I do wonder what I am missing out on. It seems that sex is something our society is obsessed about, even though in reality I believe everyone can live without. Anonymous man, The reason I am still a virgin is that I am very well endowed.
How to say Yes! to sex (and not just 'OK, only if you shut up about it') | Jacqueline Hellyer
Virgin territory: why the Japanese are turning their backs on sex | Roland Kelts
Social and cultural norms attach a lot of stigma to holding on to your virginity, and the importance of penetrative sex in general, meaning that honest discussions about the feelings attached to being a virgin rarely happen. Have you engaged in any sexual acts at all? Nothing whatsoever, with anybody.
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Being a virgin later in life can be, perhaps above all things, an incredibly isolating experience. Some people grew up in religious communities or single-sex schools, which made sex more elusive or taboo. Other people felt unattractive or insecure growing up. Struggles with health, sexual orientation, and gender dysphoria were also common. For almost every single person, the biggest worry was not being good at sex, a very normal concern no matter when you lose your virginity. The longer you wait, the more experience potential partners likely have—and that disparity can heap on more pressure. Growing up in rural upstate NY really limited the amount of interaction I had with other gay men, especially ones that I was attracted to.
The average person has sex for the first time around age 17 , but some don't engage in intercourse until much later in life. Certain people intentionally abstain from sex while others, like Steve Carell's memorable character in "The 40 Year-Old Virgin," can't seem to make it happen. But what does it mean if you don't have sex until later in life? Though some people pride themselves on waiting until they're older maybe until marriage, or until a stable relationship to have sex, there is also a social stigma surrounding late in life virginity.
